Politics Views

Broward Blind Items are Back – You’ll Never Guess Who

by Sharon Aron Baron August 19, 2012

by Sharon Aron Baron August 19, 2012 3 minutes read

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Broward Blind Items are Back - You'll Never Guess Who

Photo by AdamBaronPhoto.com©

Seymour Votes has been so busy working on his wife’s election that he forgot about his commitment to help a homeless family. As the leader of his community organization, he pledged last spring that he would help a family who lost their home to a fire, move back in. Since his wife lost her election in August, Seymour should have plenty of time to help them now.

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Commish Knish doesn’t meet with candidates before they’re elected. She doesn’t have an interest to help vet them for her residents. Seriously, what else does she do all day? Does the Commish even know her residents, because she doesn’t even know the elementary school that the kids in her own neighborhood are assigned to! Psssst! It’s Park Lakes Elementary!

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Plants from Broward Betty’s own botanical back yard are all over one Tamarac neighborhood. Over the years, many people have shared sprouts from her beautiful frangipanis. Soon, everyone will have a piece of this undefeated green thumb on their property.

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What’s a gossip column without Tracy Skittles? This Broward babe has been pumping iron and now she has a pair of guns. She gave me a great tip on how to turn my arms inward to make them look even slimmer for all those short sleeved photo ops. Yoo Hoo! Tell the paparazzi that I’m over here!

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Speaking of guns, I’ve been calling one particular candidate “Top Guns” because this ex pro-athlete has some pretty rock-hard arms. Who is she?

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City Commish Shanisa (oh how she hates this name!) has her weekly coffees at a restaurant where she will serve you breakfast when it gets busy. Never fear, Shanisa has a health certification for handling food. Now that’s service!

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New daddy Chappy Davidson is so thankful. He was elected without a fight and not only has he thanked his constituents by mail once, but twice! He is even starting to get to know the ins and outs of his new position before he’s even been sworn in.

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Frieda Fab is so fabulous and she knows it. She came out of nowhere, determined to win her election and has outspent the five other candidates with her own money. It has paid off. She’s facing a run-off in November.

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King Orange Julius is having a heck of a time with his party. Many people blame him for the disappointing 2010 election results and lack of Broward voters at the polls during the Primaries. He needs to call out the masses in order not to screw up the Presidential election in November, or he’s good as gone in December!

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I’m positively certain that Morticia has totally gone gray. She’s gone au natural because she says her hair was falling out. But I think she wants to look unpretentious for her upcoming trial.

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Sharon Aron Baron

Editor of Talk Media and writer for Coral Springs Talk. CST was created in 2012 to provide News, Views, and Entertainment for the residents of Coral Springs and the rest of South Florida.