By: Sharon Aron Baron
“We used to eat our food,” the man in the video confesses, “But now we just take pictures of it.”
Meet the Instagram husbands – tortured men who clear off all the the apps on their phones so they can make more room for their wives Instagram photos.
The video says “There are many Instagram Husbands out there, and we want you to know that you are not alone.”
They must take photos of their wives in every flattering pose in every place they go to give others the illusion they live fun and exciting lives when, in fact, they are miserable. According to their website www.Instagramhusband.com the term Instagram Husband does not necessarily refer to marital status, relationship status, gender, or age. Anyone can be stricken as an Instagram Husband, including boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, or sons and daughters. Instagram Wife is also gender, status, and age neutral. It is important that you find out if you are an Instagram Husband.
Answer these questions.
1. Are you the designated photographer for your Instagram Wife?
2. Do you take more pictures with your Instagram Wife than you would take on your own?
3. Is your photo thumb calloused and/or blackened with wear?
4. Have you ever been yelled at for presuming you should only take one, maybe two, pictures of a particular pose?
5. Do you suffer from uncontrollable bodily twitches when you hear any mention of the words: selfie, brick wall, puppy, succulent, the food has arrived, shoes, it’s snowing out, I don’t look good in this one, one more, crema, sunset, latte?
6. Have you ever taken pictures of your Instagram Wife while she pretended to sleep peacefully?
7. Have you ever thought to yourself when looking at an Instagram photo you took, “Only I know the rage and venom that was directed at me immediately before and after this seemingly happy photo was taken.”?
8. Have you ever said, “I can’t take this anymore, it’s me or your Instagram followers, Katelyn!”? Have you ever been saddened by the length of time she took to answer, “Hashtag-followers, Bradley. I choose my followers.”?
9. Have you stood on more railroad tracks since meeting your Instagram Wife than in the previous years of your life combined?
10. Do you need help?
Find out how you score on their website.
If you find out that your other half is an Instagram addict, there is help and you can find it on their website, plus there are tips for gently inviting your wife back into reality. You can even submit your #instagramhusband photos to, well, Instagram.
Sharon Aron Baron is the Editor of Talk Media and writer for Coral Springs Talk. CST was created in 2012 to provide News, Views and Entertainment for the residents of Coral Springs, Parkland and the rest of South Florida.