By Dan I. Cook
As a sports fan, a true sports fan, I really enjoy watching Barstool Sports.
Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy, “El Presidente” of BarstoolSports, reviews pizza with a catchphrase “One Bite. Everyone Knows The Rules.”
These reviews are pretty popular on YouTube. His sense of humor, coupled with his knowledge of good and suck-azz pizzas, are very entertaining. Plus, he has special celebrity guests who chow down on the pizza and give a review, too.
When I heard his company was launching a frozen pizza line, I was excited. El Presidente knows his pizza, and I’m always looking for a decent frozen one.
If you walk down any grocery store frozen pizza aisle, there are tons of different types. Rising Crust, Stuffed Crust, Cauliflower Crust, Detroit Style, Thin Crust, Totino’s Crust (whatever that is), and French Bread Style are the main types. Supreme, Plain, Meat Lovers, 5 Cheese, Veggie, Pepperoni, and Chicken are just a sample of what the stores have to offer.
It is amazing how many types are available, but I have to say most of them suck.
Totino’s is probably the worst. The crust blows, and so do the toppings. I grew up with that crap and usually gravitated towards Stouffer’s French Bread Pizzas as a child. I had great memories of opening the box and being so happy to have two pizzas to eat. Even though the crust tasted like a crouton, it was enjoyable —back then.
As I got older and made more money, I could afford a DiGiorno’s or Screaming Sicilian, which comes the closest to a delivery pizza chain.
Let’s face it; it’s a lot easier and cheaper to pop a frozen pie in the oven than ordering online or on the phone. So any pizza snobs out there, you know you have a frozen pie in your freezer right now.
With my older age, I enjoy thinner crust, but I always stick with supreme toppings. My current favorites are Newman’s Own, Publix, California Pizza Kitchen, and Thin Crust Red Baron.
One Bite Pizza
When I heard the One Bite Pizza was an Italian stone-baked crust style, I knew it would be thin-crusted. It comes in four different types: five cheese, pepperoni, three meat, and supreme. Of course, I went with the supreme, which is approximately $6.48 for a 12 inch 21.38-ounce pie.
El Presidente isn’t making these pizzas from his kitchen, so it was important for me to find out who he partnered with. HappiFoodi, a brand headquartered in New Jersey, produces pizzeria-inspired ready-to-heat pizzas for One Bite.
As for the pizza itself, it’s damn good for frozen.
I followed the directions on how to cook it but finished it by broiling it for a few minutes. I always feel this trick cooks the top evenly.
The crust has no flop, which is typical for a frozen pizza. The flavor/taste was in line with Newman’s Own Supreme. Just a side note, Paul Newman, who died in 2008, started his own food company with a buddy in 1982. All proceeds go to charity, which was a big draw for me, along with the taste of his products.
The toppings were not freezer burned and tasted fresh. Sometimes a crappy frozen pizza will get this thin ice sheet on top, which screws up the entire pizza. As you can see in the pictures, the pizza is solid.
Superb job by Portnoy and Happi Foodi. There is no doubt with El Presidente’s huge social media presence and excellent knowledge of pizza; both frozen and fresh, this product will be very successful. I would say one bite isn’t enough for this pizza. Enjoy multiple!
This pizza gets a suburb rating of 3 full glasses and 1/8 of beer in the 4th mug. A 9.1 in Barstool Sports Measurements. No rookie scores for this dude.
What are YOUR favorite frozen pizzas and why?
Remember to hit Walmart —the only place it’s being sold at —grab a One Bite Pizza and tell the cashier that Dan I Cook and Coralspringstalk.com sent you and Stay Hungry!
Four beers = Outstanding
Three Beers and 1/8 of beer in the 4th mug = Superb
Three beers = Good
Two beers = OK
One beer = Needs work
Zero beers= Sucks (No beer is never a good thing).
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